Holly Probert DFSA Productions

EMDR: Online videos about EMDR – observation of subjects in therapy – talking about personal trauma- re-entering memory trauma – in silence – being guided by breathing into a safe space. Look at training and literature for EDMR – what would I need to train – where etc: EMDR has been an established therapy since 1990, first discovered in 1987 by Francine Shapiro, 39 year old psychology grad student in california. She discovered it by accident when walking through a park thinking about her trauma, noticed her eyes moved and then the trauma seemed to have less of an effect on her. She started to test this on her friends, but they seemed to struggle just using their eyes and so this introduced the hand movement so that subjects could follow their fingertips, making the exercise easier. It was discovered through further testing, that this therapy was very effective on veterans, out of 200, 80% improved. Later these results continued when Dr.Lipke got a selection of EMDR train...

Planning: in regards to planning this is what I'm thinking: a repetitive dance piece showing the layout of the therapy, delving back into trauma, presenting the eye movement and then reevaluating the emotional response of the trauma. repeating this process until the emotional responce is lessened, enabling the individual to be less negatively effected by changing the response from the inside. the reason why I've decided to go in this direction with the film is because I really want to talk about the positivity of the therapy and make it clear that it is different to conventional talking therapies such as counselling. EMDR focuses on the trauma itself, as a pose to counselling, which focuses on how the trauma takes effect on the person now. I think it is a really important focus in regards to EMDR's development and its expanding ability to treat various traumas. preproduction: risk assessment for permissions is underway. learning agreement draft 1 is finished. pe...

so far I've looked into various other dance films. next I plan to look at other grad films just to give me a better idea whats expected of me. here are some of the best films I've found. this is called 'SLIP' published in 2015 under the username 'pacman' in the description they talk about how difficult it is to let go of sadness, and how ignoring it can be harmful - " Everyone will tell you it is hard to let go of pain... and it is. Since we are children we have been told to embrace the best of our experiences & disregard the worst... But what happens when the most beautiful memories from our past end up doing the most damage to our future?" - the reason why this video stood out to me is firstly because of the music and opening. the colour pallet Ithink is really similar to what I envision in my film, and I think that what drew me in. the closeness and general presence of the dancers I think encapsulates the closeness and delicacy of pain, some...

today I went in and had a tutorial with Kathleen where we discussed my ideas and then started drafting a learning agreement. idea discussion: we discussed my first idea about an immersive experience where I think she knew I wasn't totally set on the idea, clearly she was correct. I told her about my idea about EMDR, working around the subject in more detail, maybe the recreation of a session, looking more in depth into the therapy, arguments for and against it, etc. she seemed really on board immediately, which i was surprised by, but I found it reassuring that this was the right idea for me.  we discussed what my next steps should be for this project and the correct ways for me to move forward. we agreed that more research into the area and other people's experiences of the therapy would be a good next step. we also agreed the length of the film should be about 10 minutes, as it is a substantial piece of work.  Learning agreement: as I mentioned, we agreed...

idea: so it begins, year 3. my plan is to use similar ideas for my dissertation and grad project, I figure it makes more sense to do something related because thats logical. so I am in-between the memory room or the EMDR therapy. the memory room is risky because its more of a fine art project, I don't know if its appropriate, will it work? how will I go about it? could I get the space? but it works with my dissertation and feels the most logical choice. the EMDR film I think would be so interesting and gives me a chance to really look in depth into the topic. as well as publicising the therapy more. but, is it boring as I've already worked with the topic? I think I'm probably going to stick with the memory room because I think its more relevant I guess.

GRAD FILM IDEAS: thinking about my work so far and everything thats gone on for me through the summer a few ideas have come to mind. 1. I am just about to begin receiving help for sexual assault. this is on my mind quite heavily at the moment and so id like to work with it. I figure maybe I could make a dance film using paint, to show the damage it causes and then the recovery. but also showing that it really can happen to anyone. because thats the truth, its something I feel needs to be discussed, and I would like to use my experience to my advantage and do something with it that isn't depressing. 2. a memory room. an immersive experience where everything will be designed to trigger a persons memories, using all the senses and also using photographs and videos. the reason why id like to explore this is mainly because it goes hand in hand with my dissertation idea of photography and memory, so it feels like the most logical choice for research and planning. 3. a panic room -...

What is EMDR? the reason why I've decided to include this at the end is because I really want to make people aware of what I was trying to show as it is massively important to me. I'm not going to talk too much, but I would like to offer a place to find some helpful videos and links in order to understand more behind the ideas of the therapy and how incredible it really is. but also to make people aware that this is not a miracle therapy and it doesn't always work for everyone. for some it can be more harmful due to its intensity and what it deals with, it can just be inappropriate for some, different therapy effect everyone in different ways, and I just want to give people the chance to make themselves aware of something new.

Conclusion: so I unfortunately can't upload the video right now as I don't have a USB port on my Mac and haven't brought the adaptor yet. But, I think there are things I could've done better, such as sound, I think I could've been more organised but overall I think I did ok on this actually, probably the project I'm second most happy with to date, besides my sound piece. shout out to my incredible crew, theres no way it would've come together without them. im insanely happy with the dancers and dance styles I ended up with, the dancers were incredible and easy to work with, made the shoot very enjoyable. I've enjoyed the experience of finding dancers and choosing a crew, I found it very rewarding to build something by myself from the ground up which I actually felt attached to and was meaningful to me, it has made me feel a bit more confident to try out new crew roles that I haven't previously and has also made me see I can direct. I'm no...

Edit: I looked through all the footage and honestly found it really difficult. I tried to edit some clips together as we tracked in different ways, some Sav decided to track her face, some her feet or torso. but it just looked uncomfortable and unnatural and just did work for me. so instead a choose one clip per dancer as when we were shooting we shot various continuous shots. when I looked at this it just felt more natural and like it was more appropriate. clearly if this were to ever be in an exhibition, I would have each video on its own screen instead of all on one but for the purposes of this presentation it makes more sense to have them laid out like this. the lighting between dancers was incredibly controlled and I have ollie and susie to thank for that because I love how the clips look together. and I love how the tracking looks, Sav really out did herself with this and did an incredible job. I couldn't have achieved such an impressive and aesthetically pleasing film th...

Sound design: I remember when I discussed my ideas with Rosie and Rachel, and they suggested I work with sound design to create a sound scape using elements of each age group to Crete one sound scape for the three videos and just allowing the audience to make connections between the two as they see fit. rather than trying to create three different sound scapes, one per video. I tried creating a sound scape however, I couldn't find something that felt right. it always felt like it didn't work, didn't match up, didn't show what I wanted it to, etc. so I ended up deciding to look at royalty free music. music has always been a huge part of my life and so I decided to use this to reflect the growth in age and how I have developed, as well as the age orders I dealt with in therapy. as I started with the youngest and worked up to now to join the dots together. I also recorded some basic sound effects like breaking plates and breathing to add under the music just to give ...

Saturday 14th of April: today we had a 5 hour rehearsal and shoot with Laura. it went smoothly overall. as well as the routine I also dressed the set with objects that would reflect where I am in life now, so I used photos of myself and my sister. we also added a little at the start of the routine with her sitting on the chair on her phone, again to reflect how I am now. we has some issues with the lenses meaning we couldn't stick to the original shot choice. sav had an idea to track the dancer instead using the 50mm lens creating a closer tracking shot instead. I also feel that the varied movement and speed of the camera tracking reflects the intent of the dance instead of keeping them static for all three. Sunday 15th of April: we started off filming with Mel, we added on a short bit at the start with her as well, with her falling back onto the chair, to reflect a lazy teenager. then we did a couple of run throughs and started filming the same way as with Laura. Sav r...

Mel: Mel has come in to rehearse on the 11/04/18. the rehearsals were easier than expected. we used routines she already knew as a base, and then began to create a mash up of these as well as some transitions between sequences. but overall went very smoothly and we produced a routine we were happy with that flowed nicely. we also started to add in some characterisation to the routine. asking her to look frustrated and act angry like a frustrated teen. after a couple of different tries she nailed it, very happy and looking forward to filming. when compiling this we decided it would work best if we performed it on set to a new song, we tried to find one with an appropriate beat, sav suggested 'Pork soda' by Post Malone which when we tried it, worked perfectly. Keira: keira came to rehearse on the 12/04/18. we did the exact same with her in regards to routine, we chose 'Run the world' by Beyonce, enabling us to have a quick and upbeat routine. when working on charact...

Final choices: People: after auditions/watching the audition tapes, i have finally decided on my contributors. for ages 10 i have chosen 11 year old Keira Ayling, trained in street and break dance with elements of tap, modern and contemporary. for age 14/15 i have chosen Mel Gilbert, age 17, trained in various styles but especially street and break dance. and finally for age 17-present i have chosen Laura Hardie, 17 years old, trained in contemporary, musical theatre and performance based movement. Location: i have decided that for both filming and rehearsing i will be at my home, (address on production pack) in farnham. my reasons for this being because my home will help portray a family environment reflecting my childhood, also it is easier than trying to book a studio. Costume: for Keira i have decided on leggings and a high neck, bright coloured top of some description, keeping her more covered and presenting a more age appropriate, child like appearance. for Mel, i have gone...

DISSERTATION PROPOSAL: a while ago we had some lectures with photography's Matt Lindsey where in one lecture he discussed Barthes, and his point on photography creating a counter memory. i found this really interesting and so i looked into it a little more, as it was one of the questions we could choose for our last essay, i chose to take on a different question as i couldnt formulate my argument surrounding this question. but ive always remembered this lecture as it really interested me. and so i would love to focus on this question of 'does photography create a counter memory?' for my dissertation. im in two minds about this as one half suggests that photography gives a snapshot of reality, and there for isnt a counter memory, its rather an element of reality. however the other half of this suggests that in most photographs we take in modern day socioty, we pose and therefore emulate an unreal and unnatural version of reality, which, upon later review, creates a co...

LIGHTING PLANS: I began to start thinking about what kind of lighting I would need for each of my routines and dance sections. so I made some plans to start thinking about that now I have a location in mine. I will be filming at my house, in my living room. my reasoning for this is because the film is about my growing up, it felt appropriate to film in the space where it all happened as I have access to it. I have lived in my current home since I was 1 year old, and so all of these stages that I will explore in my film were lived in this environment. so after getting location permissions (bargaining with my mum), I have arranged to film on the 14th and 15th of april 2018. anyway, here are my lighting plans:   General 1-5 (first draft): Why this wont work: the camera being placed from the same direction as the smaller light means that the light could get in the way of what I want to do, if I love in front of it I would cast a shadow. No back light – making it look fla...

RISK ASSESSMENT: so the other day I completed my risk assessment in the hopes of getting signed off just after auditions. this is my second completed piece of preproduction (my first being my learning agreement)

My Idea: I intend to create a dance film surrounding my personal experience of the work of, talking therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing). I had a broken up timeline of my own life which I couldn’t join. I went to this therapy as i needed help to deal with issues i had growing up, these issues, as i hadnt dealt with them, ended up cutting themselves apart, and so looking back on my life i didnt see one string of life evening, i saw broken up fragments as individual versions of myself at different ages. this therapy takes you back to your worst moment at whatever age your breakage is, your therapist will ask you to take yourself back to that point, get you all worked up and you literally feel everything you wouldve back then. after this she asks you to look at the tips of her fingers as she moves her hand side to side, after a while she will stop and you both take a deep breath, this continues until some how your brain has been able to desensit...